Worst Jokes Ever
Arik? (Not a joke.)
Eons it takes to Daveon the haters.
Why did Daveon go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling "Daveon" in the dumps.
What did Daveon say when he saw a spider? "I'm Dave-on with this!"
What do you call a group of Daveons? A "daveon-ation."
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.
"Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?"
What did the beat say to the rapper?
"Drop it like it's HOT!"
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
To drop some SWEET BEATS!
Did you hear Palpatine is sewing Nike?
Stole his slogan, just do it!
Who is my favorite underground rapper?
XXX Tentacion
A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He can’t walkie or talkie.
What does a priest and Christmas tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration.
What is a terrorist's first move in chess?
C4.
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
"A friend with weed is a friend indeed."
How long does it take a black woman to take out the trash?
About nine months and a day.
A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?
The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.
The gay couple was still packing their shit.