Worst Jokes Ever
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower?
In trouble!
Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.
How did you get into the tampon 100?
Pull some strings!
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Craps on your organ.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
Why did Amy Winehouse snort Splenda?
She thought it was Diet Coke.
Your hairline is so big, I couldn't find the area of it on Jupiter.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?
That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.
Adam and Eve are wondering whether they are black or white. Eve says, "Why don't you go and ask God?"
So Adam goes into the Garden of Eden and shouts out to God, "Are we black or white?" A big booming voice bellows out, "You are what you are."
He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. "How do you know?" asks Eve. "Because he said, 'You are what you are,'" Adam replied. "Why does that mean we are white?" asked Eve. "Because if we were black, He would have said, 'You is what you is.'"
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
What do you call a group of Alabama superheroes?
The Incredibles.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.