Worst Jokes Ever
I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.
And then it hit me.
What is yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
Two hats are next to each other. One hat says to the other, "Stay here, I'll go on ahead."
Hi, I...
Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.
The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.
Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.
Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?
Beef strokin' off.
People are like tequila glasses,
you gotta shoot them down fast.
Yo momma so fat, her four kids use her as a bed and her fat rolls as cozy blankets.
My friend was annoying me with bird puns. I realized toucan play at this game.
Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?
A: Lazy bones.
Life has ups and downs, and they had downs.
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?
My stepdad did beat cancer.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke weed.
Jack and Jill got high, and Jack ripped Jill's clothes right off her. Then Jill ripped Jack's clothes off. Jack, when they were fully naked, they started to kiss, but Jack stopped. Jill said, "I know you wanna." Jack said, "No," but Jill jumped on that candy stick anyway. Jack gave in to Jill.
Jill got off, then let Jack suck her candy stick. Jill sucked on Jack's candy stick.
*in the hospital*
Paralyzed kid: I'm out!
*walks out the room*
Blind kid: You can walk?!
Mute kid: You can see?!
Deaf kid: You can talk?!
Doctor: Wut the f**k?
A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"
He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.
The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."
Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.