Worst Jokes Ever
For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."
What do you call an epileptic kid?
Little Seizures.
Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? Here's a good example...
A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apparently) threw out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "Why are you running?"
"My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!"
They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?"
"Grandma farted and the house blew up!"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.
Why did the cow wiggle?
To make milkshake! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter. It was pretty grate.
Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals.
Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well, tech-ically we can’t talk.”
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
What do you call a fish without an eye? Fsh.