Worst Jokes Ever
*School shooting happens.*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk.*
American student: "First time?"
Foreign exchange student: "Yeah, you?"
American student: "Hahaha. No, not my first time."
At first, I was a boy trapped in a girl's body, then I was born.
Who are the fastest readers?
The pilots on 9/11. They went through six stories in 5 seconds.
What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.
What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek? "Together we can stop this shit!"
What pictures do orphans take? Selfies.
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."
To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."
I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.
I'll call it Downtown.
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
I think one of my dads might be gay.
My mum said take out the trash, so I took my sister.
Why do gay people like sports?
Because they get to play with balls.
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Yo mum." "Yo mum who?" "Yo mum is watching you wank right now."
I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.
What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?
A-Mean-O-Acid.