Worst Jokes Ever

Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?

He does not like roasted vegetables.

Pregnant teen: I'm pregnant, my mum's gonna kill me.

Unborn baby: My mum's gonna kill me.

Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?

Son: Ok dad.

AFTER TEST

Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?

Son: Son?

A cow is an earthquake, it's a milkshake.

I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."

What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.

Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.

"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing, but one sounds like a threat.

Pizza Hut.

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.

Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?

So we can think about a solution in silence.

I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say "black paint."

You have to say, "Leroy, please paint that wall!"

What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?

The doctor taking off his watch.

Have you heard about the pedophile who was guilty of robbery?

He took a girl's innocence.

Ice cream truck drivers are the most sus people on earth. They’re adults who play children’s music and give ice cream to kids who approach their van.

Why can't an orphan have sex?

Because they can't scream "daddy!"

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

What's a priest's favorite toy?

A mute little boy.

What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.