What's the difference between a maze and a depressed life? One of them you can find a way out of.
Worst Jokes Ever
My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"
Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."
They say people are 75% water.
But I'm 100% useless.
Life's too short to want it.
Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.
Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? Stephen can't walkie and Stephen can't talkie.
What's a depressed kid's favorite holiday?.... Christmas because everything is hanging.
How to fall down stairs.
Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
My memes are ironic, but my depression is chronic.
Me: Have you ever went sky diving?
Friend: No.
Me: Well don't, it sucks.
Friend: Why?
Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.
*School shooting happens*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*
American student: "First time?"
A man went to the library and asked for a book about suicide. The librarian said, "Go away, you won’t bring it back."
Yo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
Everything disappears in the Bermuda Triangle.
Except my depression.
My future is so bright, I need a flashlight to see where I'm going.
Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times, and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.
