Worst Jokes Ever
Q: Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
A: It did not want to get stuck in a crack.
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
How do skyscrapers make friends?
They reach out.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c—
MOO!
Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?
Because he's too high.
Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.
Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...
I didn’t expect her to come back so early.
Bro, why are you making an avalanche by that big forehead? No wonder why snow was found on Mars.
How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?
Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.
What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?
Strong to the finish.
There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.
Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.
Did you hear about the streaker in church? He was caught by the organ.
Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?
What's a lesbian's favorite candy?
Licorice.
How do you know when you're near Wacko Jacko's grave? When 'Thriller' is out and about.
What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.
In the Robocide, Explain Bear is the first to go.
The best and worst part about being bi:
Best: Double the love, double the fun.
Worst: Double the love, double the loneliness.
How much does a hipster weigh?
About an Instagram.