Worst Jokes Ever
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
A paraplegic after a house fire.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"
My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided to try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn.
And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.
What's the difference between China and New York City?
In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?
A cutting board.
"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.
(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
What do you call basketball for disabled people?
Rocket League?
Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!
"Is that a quirked-up white boi with a little bit of swag, busting it down sexual style?
Is HE goated with the sauce?"
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and called it "Hot Wheels."
Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!
Yo forehead so big it makes Megamind's forehead small.
How are this joke and the kid with cancer alike?
It never gets old.
Did you hear about that new emo pizza? It cuts itself!
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.
When someone calls you gay, say:
"I'm straight, straighter than your hairline!"