Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
Why did the dead baby cross the road?
It was strapped to the chicken.
Yo momma so skinny, she wipes with floss!
Bald Eagle.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They never hit home.
Two of my grandpas died in WW2.
Their tower fell over.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Get in the car.
A friend texts to another:
"Hey." They reply, "What's up?"
The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"
To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."
My cat got in a fight. It was a catastrophe.
Why do leaves change color in the fall?
Because they want to leaf their old color.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows. No body, nose.
Yo mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can and I asked her what she was doing and she said moving.
Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?
She sat on Pinocchio's face and said: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
I would try to make a Fortnite joke, but I can't seem to build on it.
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
I like my women like I like my chocolate.
Edible.
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.
Son: Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother had diabetes.
What store has the most vegetables?
A nursing home.