Worst Jokes Ever
What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well, tech-ically we can’t talk.”
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals.
What do you call a fish without an eye? Fsh.
What did the duck eat for lunch?
Soup and quackers.
Why did the orange fall off the tree? Because he went out on a limb.
I did a walk today, but I had a walk home from a walk. Walk today, but it when.
First human comes.
Sans: That was pun intended.
Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"
When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.
My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because there was a power cut.
What did the cow say to your mom?
Hello.
So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!
Do you know why Peter Pan is always flying?
Because he Neverlands!
That is not a joke hahahahhaha.
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.