Worst Jokes Ever
I want a job cleaning mirrors. I could really see myself doing it!
So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day.
After about 13 tries, I realized this was very time consuming.
Why did the elephant cross the road? It didn't see the cars.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
People are like trees...
If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they'll fall over.
What do Will from "Stranger Things" and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air have in common? They're both named Will, and their lives both got flipped, turned upside down.
There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?
Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
Don't drink and park.
Accidents cause people.
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.
Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"
Why is the iPhone X the perfect phone for an orphan?
Because there is no home button.
Why didn't the butcher cut the fillet?
Because it was a misteak.
I like my kids like I like my lamps.
Hung from the ceiling.
Do you want to hear a joke about the blunt pencil? Never mind, it's pointless.
What did the captain of the Titanic do before the Titanic sunk?
He nominated everyone for the ice bucket awards.
Why did the orphan wait in line?
To see their parents next.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
This joke does not work in print, you have to speak it to someone.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Helen Keller.
Helen Keller who?
(Don't say anything).
Helen Keller who?
...you will get a laugh...ty.