Worst Jokes Ever
What do you get when you cross a stick and a dog? A run away joke...
Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relieved. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. "Nitrogen!" The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good night.”
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?
A home button.
[God creating sharks]
God: Ok give them 3 rows of teeth.
Angel: Seems excessive but ok.
God: And make them mean as hell.
Angel: WTF y.
God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO.
Angel:...
God: And make one of the types have a hammer for a head.
Angel: Why do I still work for you?
God: Because I’m the only employer as of right now.
I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.
He one day said his business was "remarkable."
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
Dam.
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
We don't got sluts in the South, we got NATS: Nasty Ass Traveling Sluts.
I told my friend to watch Naruto. It's been a week since I've seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece.
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.
What does the man say about his baby sister Lydia? "I hope she electrocutes herself!"
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus!
What is the difference between eating a baby and a doughnut?
Babies are healthier.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
He was stuck in the crack.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it was stuck in a crack.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?
Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.
What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?
Madeline McCann's bike.
I say "cow poop," cows say "moonure."