Worst Jokes Ever
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far from the wall. The cord unplugged.
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
It was 7:00 a.m. when Billy ran downstairs after a long night of sleep. He got to the kitchen where his mother and father sat. "What would you like for breakfast?" Billy's mom asked politely. Billy replied with, "Whatever Dad gave you last night in your bedroom would be great! You seemed to like it very much!"
What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, it just waved.
Déjà Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Guess who I saw at school today?
Everyone I looked at. loooooooool
What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?
The Las Vegas shooting.
Who is king of the insects?
The Monarch.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.
Who are the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims. 100 stories in 11 seconds.
I don't even know why to joke about America, it's a joke itself TO THE FUCKING EARTH!
A scientist discovered water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
What do you get if you talk to a Down syndrome person face to face at close distance?
Soaked...
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick.
What’s one thing that a gay person is scared of?
A gay guy that’s straight!
What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.
What does a priest and time have in common? They're both predators.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call “daddy.”