Worst Jokes Ever
Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE!
Doctor: Sit down for a minute.
What do you call a farting boxer?
Gaseous Clay.
Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!
Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)
Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!
How do you count cows with a cowculator?
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."
I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.
What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker?
Hop in!
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...
But it’s quite pointless.
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.
What do gay horses say?
"Hay ya'lllllllllllllll!"
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
Tell your teacher this: "I passed a test that took 60 minutes. It wasn't your work, it wasn't my work, it was hour work!"
Do you know where time is? Because it keeps flying by.
Why is it called a building if it's already built?