Worst Jokes Ever

Are you Hiroshima? Because I want to drop my bomb inside you.

Ironic that this page is dead.

How do s’mores communicate?

On Insta-graham.

When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.

Why was the leper hockey game canceled?

It was because of a face-off in the corner.

How did the digital clock show off to its mother?

Look, Ma, no hands!

What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”

Communism is actually kinda tight.

What's the square root of 2001?

9/11

(6x9)+6+9=69

The snack that smiles back: Ball sack.

Where did Josh go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.

If your eyes were the sea, I would drown in them.

How to get rid of your depression:

1. Stop self-pitying.

2. Realize you can't.

3. Fucking deal with it.

You're welcome.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!

Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"

What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?

A very pissed duck.

When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,

but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.

*Is honestly the best policy.*

I took a special needs child to a shooting range.

Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.