Worst Jokes Ever
How do you get a retard out of a tree?
Wave at them.
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
Your hairline is so long The Rock complimented it!
I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"
Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
¡Hola, soy Dora!
Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
What do British politics and transgender people have in common?
Both aren't what they used to be...
Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college?
Bring them young.
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
I saw a Black person riding a bike, so I ran back to my garage. He was still eating.
I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.
The last entry was about 12 years old.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade once. It killed 300 people.
And then it exploded.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Your mama is so ugly, she summoned Bloody Mary.
She handed her an application through the mirror.