Worst Jokes Ever
Why do trees never call Emos? Because they always hang up on them.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
Why was the Pokemon under your bed? So it can Pikachu.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Doctor."
"Doctor who?"
"Doctor Who."
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese.
What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?
"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"
Why are orphans bad at Yahtzee?
They don't know what a house is.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
Where can white people cook better than Black people?
On Father’s Day.
My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.
You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”
The Cheerio Joke
Let's say you're in high school, and your popularity level was based on what Cheerio you are. So there's Extra-Frosty Cheerios as the most popular kids, the frosted Cheerios were the popular kids, the Regular Cheerios as the typical normal kid, then there's the honey nut Cheerios as the nerds and geeks, and then there's your Cheerio which is the Chocolate Cheerios. Now you want to ask this girl who's an extra frosty, you go up to her and ask her to Homecoming, but she declines.
So after school gets out, you go home and rewind. The next day you wake up feeling like a honey nut Cheerio, so you go up to her again and ask her again, she still says no. So you go home and rewind again and wake up the next morning feeling like a Regular Cheerio. So you go to school and ask her again, she still declines. So you go home and rewind again. The next morning, you wake up feeling like a frosty Cheerio. So you go up to her and ask again, still says no. Then you go home and unwind. The next day you wake up feeling like an extra frosty Cheerio. Feeling doubtful, you go up to her one last time and ask her. She finally says yes.
The next day is Homecoming, and you and your date are on the dance floor, and she wants punch. So she tells you that she's going to go get punch. She goes and gets punch and is back in 30 seconds. You ask her why it was so fast. She replies with; "Oh there wasn't a punch line."
What do you call 8 x 3.14?
Octopi.
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
"Octo" means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs... so where did the "pus" come from?
How do you punish Helen Keller?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.
So all his friends came in one car.