Worst Jokes Ever

I was going to tell you a cow joke...

But it's pasture bed time.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They can't find home.

Dead baby jokes never get old...

That joke and paper have one thing in common: they're both tearable.

A random guy yelled at me, "Hey, slut!"

I walked towards him.

"I prefer slit," I said.

"Why?" He asked.

"You see these wrists?" I spat at him.

Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?

So it could have sweet dreams.

My mom is a chemistry teacher.

Mom: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back.

Me: Tell that to my FUCKING CRUSH, BITCH!

This guy walks into a library one day and asks the librarian for a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian says, "F*** no, you won’t return it!"

What's Africa's greatest sporting achievement? The 2018 World Cup...

I've never seen my dad since September 11. I wonder where he is...

My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.

So a girl says to her ex, "I can't get you out of my mind, the boyfriend I knew." The girl replies, "I see you in everything, like when I'm walking down the street, even at work, like trash cans are everywhere."

What did the wire say to the electrician?

"Stop twisting my nuts!"

What's the difference between sand and food? Africans have plenty of sand.

Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.

How do Chinese people name their children?

They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."

How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?

"Please get out of the pool."

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.

Touch Down.

There was a recent football match between Ethiopia and Egypt.

Egypt 8, Ethiopia 0.