Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
Yo mamma so ugly that even God said, "Be gone, DEMON!"
A baby seal walks into a club...
What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?
Nothing, he just started wanking.
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
What do you call security outside a Samsung store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"I'm lagging."
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
Two of the worst jokes ever.
I want a job cleaning mirrors. I could really see myself doing it!
So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day.
After about 13 tries, I realized this was very time consuming.
Why did the elephant cross the road? It didn't see the cars.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
A drum rolled down a hill. Ba-dum-tsssh!
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.
What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?
"I think I feel a connection!"
Math puns are the first SINE of madness! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Why is Santa’s sack so big?
Because he only comes once a year.