Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama's so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable,
but I never realized they suited me.
I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
I was excited to watch Fast and Furious because of Dom Toretto, then I realized family is nothing to me 'cause I'm an orphan.
Why can't the orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to...
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.
I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.
10 years ago my dad said I should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... I still eat cereal with water, sadly.
Foxy the fox was a careless fox. She didn't care about her friend Froggy.
Froggy was a careful frog. One day, Froggy decided to teach the fox a lesson.
Foxy was in her bed sleeping when Froggy made her room an entire mess. She got up, and then her mother berated her for not cleaning her room. From now on, she is a careful fox.
Big Mom is so fat, Trafalgar Law canβt make enough room for her!
Why canβt orphans go on field trips?
Because they need a parent signature.
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
I have a thousand-piece puzzle of the Japanese map. It took me ages to finish it.
But after the earthquake, I just threw all the pieces on the ground, and it's done.
"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"
"What? We havenβt even sent them to fight!"
"Theyβve already lost 30% of the unit!"
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
Why canβt orphans play baseball?
Because they canβt run home.
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"