Worst Jokes Ever

Jimmy Savile should have presented Pop off the Tops instead of Top of the Pops.

Why can't orphans play video games?

Because they don't have their parent's email.

What do you get when you goblin with a shark?

I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"

Why did the toad cross the road?

To show his girlfriend he had guts.

What goes in hard but comes out soft?

Gum.

Why don't communists like Microsoft? Because it's Minecraft instead of ourcraft.

What has hands but can’t clap?

A thalidomide baby.

An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."

A homeless kid once said he will go home.

Guys, look at the comments, omg!

I was raised as an only child, which I think was hard for my brother.

I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"

How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?

It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...

He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.

What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?

They both take it in the back and go woop woop.

Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.

It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.

Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.

Me: Why can't orphans play baseball? Friend: Why? Me: Because they can't find home.

It took me 9.11 seconds to realize.