Worst Jokes Ever
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."
I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.
Why did Grampa pass out? Because of diabetes.
You know when people say a joke about living?
That's because we are all living a joke.
Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said, "To be continued."
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.
My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
Me: *Realizes*
What is the same between water and dark jokes?
Not everyone gets it!
You're so skinny, starving Ethiopians offer you food!
What's Michael Jackson's favorite toy?
Wet 6-year-old balls.
Did you hear the news? Michael Jackson died because he choked on 7-year-old nuts and balls.
Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.
Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
What’s the difference between a puppy and a fork?
I don’t microwave forks.
Joseph Jackson wants Michael's kids to tour as the Jackson 3.
Did the tree high five the emos?
No, he just left them hanging.
Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.