Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
GOTTVERDAMMT, Hans! I said, "Glass of juice," not "Gas the Jews!"
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
Who am I?
I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.
What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.
Why do emos have friends?
So they can hang with each other.
Me: I'm afraid of random letters.
Therapist: You are?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: Oh, I see.
Me: [screaming intensifies]
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Doctor."
"Doctor who?"
"Doctor Who."
What is the slipperiest county?
Greece!
Once a blonde, always a blonde. 😂
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
Wanna see something dark?
Close your eyes.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-bone.
Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!
Edna: Hey there big boy!
Big boy: You need to stop doing this.