Worst Jokes Ever
What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.
Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.
Doc: What's wrong with that?
Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.
My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?
What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no arms or legs? Names.
I was digging a hole in the garden when I found some gold coins.
I was about to run and tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden...
I was raised as an only child, which I think was hard for my brother.
My grief counselor died.
He was so good, I don’t even care! 😂😂😂
I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
I like women's rights "jokes" because they're all facts.
Me: Why can't orphans play baseball? Friend: Why? Me: Because they can't find home.
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?
They both take it in the back and go woop woop.
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
What goes down but not up?
An emo.
What is an emo's favorite movie?
The Suicide Squad.
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.