Worst Jokes Ever
Why did I give an orphan the iPhone X?
Because it is the first one without a home button.
TV: Water found on Mars...
Mars: 1
Africa: 0
My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.
Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."
NASA called me and they said they reached your hairline.
I feel bad for the people who were born on April 1.
Their life is a joke.
What do you call a Chinese assassin?
Chinese takeout.
Why do gay men hate periods?
They prefer Collins.
What is the difference between me and Paul Walker?
I’ve watched Fast and Furious Seven.
The Twin Towers are like crippled legs; once they break, they can’t be fixed.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: “Would you like a piece of cake?” - “No, I would like two.”
What do a male pornstar and an emo have in common?
They are both hung.
What do British politics and transgender people have in common?
Both aren't what they used to be...
What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?
When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.
Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
What did the cannibal say when his friend fell on the floor?
"5 second rule!"
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
Why are gay dudes so rude?
Because they're fucking assholes.
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.