Worst Jokes Ever
If two feminazis are carpet munchers, which one in the lesbian relationship cooks?
They both don't because both of the carpet munchers are too busy eating each other's pussy 😋 🤪 😌 😏 😜 👍 👍 👌 👌 👏 🏆 🥇 💭 🤔 😮 😁 😊 😃 😄 👌 😍 🥰 ☺️
What are the similarities of GTA V and 9/11? A plane can be stolen and crashed into a building by a bunch of terrorists.
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni and got plane. (Yes, it's "plain," shut.)
Why do gay people only stand crooked? Cuz they can’t be straight.
I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.
He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.
*I have seizures*
"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up like an altar boy.
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
Why do orphans suck at web design?
They don’t know what a home page is.
I am your leader.
Have you heard of the current event in Africa?
It’s known as the Hunger Games.
I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.
A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
A homeless man sees a woman about to jump off a bridge.
A homeless man is walking along a road and comes across a bridge. On the bridge is a woman standing on the railing, clearly about to jump. He approaches the woman.
"Hey lady, are you about to jump?"
"Back off! If you come any closer, I'll do it!" she replies.
"Well, that's fine," he says, "but before you do, can I ask a favor? I'm pretty down on my luck, and it's been a long time since I've felt the touch of a woman, so if it's all the same to you, would you have sex with me first?"
"Eww no, fuck off you creep!" the woman shouts back.
"Fine," the man says. "I'll just go wait at the bottom."
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a tampon and ask him what period it came from.
How do you get a retard out of a tree?
Wave at them.
A Canadian, an American, and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.
They were given everything they needed to succeed, and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.
The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration. He spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.
The American showered him with the finest food, brought him all the females that he can mate with, and made sure to spoil the parrot as much as he can.
The Mexican locked the parrot in a dark room, barely gave him any food or water, and beat the shit out of him every single day.
When the time was up, the billionaire returned to find the parrot still unable to speak, so he asked the 3 trainers about their progress.
The Canadian goes: "I have tried everything. I spent all my time and energy teaching him the alphabet and reading books to him! Nothing worked."
The American agrees: "I have spoiled him beyond belief, gave him all the luxury he can possibly get, and yet he won't speak!"
The Mexican confirms: "I have showered him with love and luxury as well, tried to teach him words day and night, spent all my time and energy spoiling him with everything I had!"
The parrot looks at the Mexican with disbelief and yells out: "You lying motherfucker!"