Worst Jokes Ever
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
Once a mustang, always a mustang. - Mr. Shaw
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" đź’©đź’©đź’©
So I saw the police. I yelled, "Dumper, get into the fucking yumper!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, she is hot, but you're as ugly as poo.
I submitted 10 puns to see if they'd make this list.
But no pun in ten did.
Why was the Burnside Bridge so hot?
Because it's on the burning side.
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
Sam Gonzales
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Yes, houses can't jump at all.
Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!
Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!
The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.
The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?
What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.
The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
Potatoes
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.