Worst Jokes Ever
I wasn't going to have a brain transplant...
But then I changed my mind.
What's better than eight kids in a dustbin?
One kid in eight dustbins.
Do a neck reveal.
My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.
Jesus was drinking when he made you.
It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the UW. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 800 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail.
1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.
"You’re not going to have time to finish this," the professor said, as he handed the student a booklet.
"Yes, I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.
After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing.
1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.
"No, you don’t, I’m not going to accept that. It’s late." The student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know who I am?"
"No, as a matter of fact, I don’t," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.
"Do you know who I am?" the student asked again. "No, and I don’t care," replied the professor with an air of superiority.
"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and ran out of the room.
I saw a little kid crying. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. I got fired from the orphanage.
What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.
Why does the orphan kid eat cereal with water?
Because his dad hasn’t come back with the milk yet.
Never compare an orphan to an Apple because the Apple always gets picked.
What do you call an orphan family? None existent.
I wonder if any of these people are still alive.
Anyways,
When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.
What do orphans have in common with stray dogs?
Nothing, they are both orphans.
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?
Your hairline and your eyebrows are social distancing.
Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
Why are orphans bad at Yahtzee?
They don't know what a house is.
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.