Worst Jokes Ever
Q. What hits the ground first when falling out of a tree, a leaf or an emo kid? A. A leaf. There is usually a rope to stop the emo kid.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
The only letters in the alphabet that you know are "KFC."
My mom said if I'm awake playing Roblox still, she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboard. hxhdhduhxbsfj.
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?
A. She had to go to GasTown.
What's an orphan's least favorite meme? "Family."
"Fuckin blakfellas be drunk all the time," slurred Barry McKenzie over his tenth pint of guiness.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
What did the talking rope say to the man?
"Just hang in there."
Yo mama so fat her yearbook picture was a double-page spread.
Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."
"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.
"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."
The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"
The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"
I bet the emo kids are jealous when they go to a funeral.
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
The next time I knock on your door, I'll hit you instead of the door.
I could tell a joke right now, but it's too dark.
The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"
The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"
The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"
The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"
The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"
What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.