Worst Jokes Ever
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
What did John say to little Timmy? Happy Disable day!
Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.
Papyrus was playing with the human, but then Papyrus fell and he broke the cell bone of the human.
Dude, Mississippi got a better K/D ratio than you.
Why do people make fun of you jokes in worst jokes ever? Because it is called "worst jokes ever."
Why was the computer late for work?
He had a hard drive.
My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.
Yo mama is so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall.
What did the parents say to the orphan? "Where are your parents?"
Oh... wait.
Why couldn’t the orphan run away from home?
Because it didn’t have one.
Q: What are women better than men at doing?
A: Winning arguments.
Q: What are men better than women at doing?
A: Winning swimming titles.
My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.
How do you tell the difference between a girl spaghetti and a boy spaghetti?
Meatballs.
Chloe Lutwyche, Bella Battese, and Hayley Wilson.
Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog. With a sudden inspirational thought, he picks the frog up, shoves a firecracker up the frog's arse, lights the cracker, and blows the frog to smithereens.
Now at school, the teacher asks the class: "Has anybody got anything for show and tell this morning?"
Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis".
"Ok Johnny, what do you have to share with the class today?"
Little Johnny then says, "Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frog's arse." The teacher interrupts and says, "It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum."
Johnny then says, "Fucking oath it wrecked 'im."
Why is Death the world's biggest slut?
Death gets to f*** everyone.
What did the baseball ⚾️ say to the bat?
“We should touch base.”
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"
Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"
This orphan showed me a family photo.
But it was just a selfie.