Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office?
Only one of them is scared.
A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says no.
The midget asks why. The bartender says, "You're a little drunk!"
What does McDonald's and a Catholic priest have in common?
They both put their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.
It's just too tear-able.
Shoot.
I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:
If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?
Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times?
He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.
What kind of cars do Mexicans drive?
A Juanda.
What do you call a two-dimensional owl? A Paper Towl!
Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?
Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.
What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer?
Cell-ablate!
What's white, red, and screams a lot?
A baby in a blender.
What do you call a bus full of white people?
A TWINKiE!!!
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
What do ants and Michael Jackson have in common? They go in kids' pants.
Why are so many people mean to orphans?
They can’t cry to their parents.