Worst Jokes Ever

I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.

GOTTVERDAMMT, Hans! I said, "Glass of juice," not "Gas the Jews!"

You're so ugly you make the blind kids cry 😭😭

What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?

An erection!

Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?

She started her period.

What do you call Stephen Hawking's wife? Siri.

There is a party in my mouth, and your dick is invited.

I hate stairs, they're always up to something.

Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!

Paddy's beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 years they have been married.

The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex, and a cool breeze may help.

Being a bit of a cheapo, he decides not to buy a fan but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act.

After half an hour, still no sign of success, so his mate suggests swapping places. "I'll have a try, Paddy, you waft the towel."

Paddy agrees, and after two or three minutes, Paddy's wife has a moment of sexual pleasure, screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years.

Paddy taps his mate Mick on the shoulder and says, "And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel!"

Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.

I added Paul Walker on my Xbox, but all he does is sit on the dashboard.

Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"

Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?

He totally kilt her.

My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!

C'mon guys, 9/11 jokes are just plane wrong.

How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.

Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!

One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."