Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call meat in an oven?
Africa.
Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.
Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:
1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps
A note for my History Teacher:
Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought the Grinch was ugly until I saw you.
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...
And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!
How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite instrument? A small skin flute.
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."
Why did Michael Jackson go to Sea World?
To free Willie.
You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Fuck you you rwind my life.
How do you make a lesbian upset?
Give her a multiplication test.
Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
I went to see my dentist, and she warned me it was going to hurt. Then, she told me she was having an affair with my husband. Good news though...the cleaning didn't hurt.
What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic?
"Where do you keep the cans of paint?"
gae
Me: Whatβs that girlβs name from Phineas and Ferb, the sister?
Crush: Candice.
Me: Candice dick fit in your mouth?
Crush: *slaps me, walks away*
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...