Worst Jokes Ever
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
Wanna hear a joke?
Me.
What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?
Windows shutting down.
Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.
Arsenal
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
AIDS?
Why were the 1800s so crazy?
Because of Hairriet Tubman.
I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.
I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."
Why does a woodpecker have a beak?
So as to not smash his head against the tree.
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?
I like my women like I like my diving pools.
Wet and deep.