Worst Jokes Ever
If you are what you eat,
why is Jeffrey Dahmer white?
What’s a fun game to play during a pride parade?
Capture the flag.
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was such a good pilot.
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.
Weird, he usually uses a sock.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Okay, what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer?
Why did the autistic ice cream run away from the party?
She had a meltdown.
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
What do you call Stephen Hawking's wife? Siri.
There is a party in my mouth, and your dick is invited.
I hate stairs, they're always up to something.
Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!
Paddy's beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 years they have been married.
The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex, and a cool breeze may help.
Being a bit of a cheapo, he decides not to buy a fan but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act.
After half an hour, still no sign of success, so his mate suggests swapping places. "I'll have a try, Paddy, you waft the towel."
Paddy agrees, and after two or three minutes, Paddy's wife has a moment of sexual pleasure, screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years.
Paddy taps his mate Mick on the shoulder and says, "And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel!"