Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't you tell an Indian a secret? Because the red dot means they're recording!
Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.
My wheelchair-bound friend was getting bullied, so I told him to stand up for himself.
A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"
Yo momma decided to go to KFC until she realized she had to share with her family, so she bought ten buckets and the cashier said, "Here is the receipt." Now yo momma got afraid of how much money she had to spend, despiting on how she spent more than Drake's net worth that he can even lend. She went back home seeing her family looking at her and the KFC, thinking that could be her rent, but the whole family dug into the food. By the second they see the plates empty and seeing the lazy mom steady, she ate so much she wasn't ready until she fell, which caused an earthquake, which made her go to jail, which caused her to be scary.
People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.
My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.
Me: Hey, are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?
You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.
Why can't orphans really play baseball?
Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite pizza topping? Pepperon-he-he.
For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.
If her age is on the clock, she can sit on my cock.
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.
This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?
No Panera Bread.
Don't ever tell somebody depressed to try again.
You know, the earth was flat till they buried your mama.
What do you call an orphan?
Homeless.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they can't go to home base. 😈