Worst Jokes Ever

I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.

Are you sure your father isn't a thief?

Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

A note for My arts/health teacher:

oh ms aziz, you've got no rizz, all she do is screams, whether u like it or not, she thinks this makes her hot, she thinks this makes her pop but it just makes me want to crack her head from the top, until she says STOP, and down on the ground she goes plop... and her screaming has finally stopped, and my plan hasn't flopped thus far.... plan B is ram her with my car, fill her shoes with tar, and the prahnas i'll set on her go RAWR... she don't know what she coming for.

Me, calls the police*

Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!

Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.

Me: Why, so you can then stop me?

Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!

Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!

Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!

The flower made a phone call and became cauliflower.

I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.

Gaston gets the no-Belle prize! :D

Don't let an extra chromosome keep you down!

Wow, why so many of the same joke?

A joker held the door open for me the other day. It was a nice gesture.

What does a skeleton tile his roof with? Shingles!

What is your arm's favorite military branch? The army.

What's fat and wanks over his mom?

Guy Sheppard.

Person 1: Hi, I am Tom, and you?

Person 2: Andrew?

Hi, I am Bill.

Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?

Orphan: ...

My brother couldn’t wait for fall, so I tripped him.

My new leaf blower doesn't work. It sucks.

Children are like farts.

You can only tolerate your own.

Who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple... Yass.

Teacher and kid.

Kid: Hey, teacher.

Teacher: Yes?

Kid: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?

Teacher: Of course not.

Kid: Well, I didn't do my homework!