Worst Jokes Ever
Q: What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
A: Cha-Ching!
I was walking down the hallway at my job when I saw a kid crying.
I asked him where his parents were, and he kept crying.
Man, I love working at the orphanage.
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator.
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
If your corona test shows two lines, is that then positive or negative?
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,
So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"
Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.
How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.
Why do white people own a lot of pets?
Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.
How come pizza boxes are square when the pizza is a circle cut into triangles?
Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.
The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."
What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?
Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.
President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon.
Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
if you play minecraft: your dog is still waiting for you in the world you made along time ago.
What's the difference between a cactus and a school bus?
On a bus all the little pricks are on the inside.
What's the difference between you and a bench?
A bench can hold a family.