Worst Jokes Ever
So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A bi-racial car wreck.
A very rich and famous comedian walked into a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - "This vodka isn't good enough for you." - "If it is good enough for you it is good enough for me!"
He's not dead, his batteries have run out.
An Irish guy walks out of a bar....
My dad is like the female wage gap: nonexistent.
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hoe? A hoe can wash her crack and sell it again.
I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
What's the difference between apples and dead babies?
I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.
Who are the fastest readers of all time?
People who jumped out of the Twin Towers. Why? Because they went through 13 stories within 5 seconds.
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I have schizophrenia,
And so do I.
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon!
(9/11 joke)
What do you call a scared octopus?
A octopussy.
New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.