Worst Jokes Ever
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
What is the best thing about being buried alive or burning to death?
No funeral costs.
Why can't you tell anyone about space?
Because it's too out of this world!
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.
“Are you still holding the ladder?”
What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?
A fat nun.
Me and my little brother were playing Call Of Duty. He wasn't doing very good, so I told him so. My brother said to me, "At least I don't have to camp in order to get kills." I then responded with, "I would call you cancer, but at least cancer kills."
My true hero is the person who killed Hitler.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
School reminds me of a penis. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.
What do you call a communist pirate ship?
The USS Arrrrr.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
How did I escape from Iraq, Iran?
what was sally's role in a football game?
the football ;-;
Why are Japanese always so skinny?
Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.
Me running after slapping the emo kid's wrist and saying, "I like ya cut g."
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
What do chairs spend on the most?
Chair-ity.
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle. So I bought an iron whistle. But ironically it steel wooden lead me whistle.
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”
The American salute starts with your hand facing flat towards the ground on your head.
The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American salute.
The French salute starts with your hands in the air.
The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.