Worst Jokes Ever
A is for apple, B is for dyslexia—oh wait, no! That’s D!
How are mountains able to see?
They peak!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull dozer.
My mom has a policy where if you kill a butterfly, no butter for a week, and if you kill a grub, no grub for a week.
She killed a cockroach today. I have some bad news for her.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Thanos snapped.
What's black and white?
History.
When the school shooter finally leaves your classroom, but then the autistic kid next to you's sketchers light up.
Incest.
When "slow down and apply more lube bro" REALLY means slow down and apply more lube bro.
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife get annoyed with him?
He had an affair with Alexa.
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."
A girl asks her Asian boyfriend if he wants to eat her pussy. He asks her why she is taking off her clothes, instead of cooking her cat.
What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?
You can't beat a cheetah!
Why did the Columbine High School basketball team lose the big game?
Because they lost their two best shooters...
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guy's asshole?
He said, "Fuck this shit!"
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
What do you call a rich white man? Cracker with Cheese!
Where did Noah keep his bees? -- In the ark hives.
Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that... I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.
A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.
“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.
“It’s because God made you special,” she said.
“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”