Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
If there is a hair, the meat is ruined.
Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.
I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."
What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!
Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
How do you get bubblegum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata
Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, "Listen Barack, I'm getting older and I'm having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?" Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. "Oh Donald, You fuck just like Barack Obama."
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
Q: There were two tampons walking down the road the other day. Guess what they said to each other?
A: Nothing, 'cause they're both stuck-up cunts.
Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that?
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He didn't pay his electricity bills.
What's a pedophile's favorite type of shoe?
White Vans.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What do you call someone with a pindie spot?
Stop screen recording.
Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.
When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”