Worst Jokes Ever
When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."
Yo mama so fat, she uses the equator as her belt.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
What is big and bouncy and walks on stilts?
I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.
Why do they call my dick section 8?
Because all the hoes are on it.
Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.
My life is so sad it's because you're in it.
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
When Kobe's pilot hit the mountain, he said, "Kobe."
What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?
Nothing.
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Tiger Woods had a good driver.
When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?
What type of car did Hitler drive? A gas-guzzler.
Spell 'Imap' and say 'ness' at the end.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
Why can't orphans play dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.