Worst Jokes Ever
Many years of sex in the dark.
The wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick!"
The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch!"
It's funny that everyone is depressed, like, I mean:
Bullys are depressed.
Nerds are depressed.
Bad girls/boys are depressed.
Kind humans are depressed.
What's the hardest part of riding a scooter?
Telling your parents you are gay.
Yo mama so fat, she wears Orion's belt!
Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile.
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.
What does a cow watch?
MooTube.
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?
Because 7 wanted to bring two knives for survival, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hated him, and didn’t have benign intentions.
Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)
You'll end up DEAD if you don't stop COFFIN!!!
Q: What’s the difference between me and you?
A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
I like my cigars like I like my women: 7 years old and in a burlap sack from Cuba.
Ok, not really racist but still funny.
What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
De-calf-inated.
What is Stephen Hawking best at in basketball?
dribbling.
Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?
Because he kept on running out of the pen.
Say this out loud: Alpha Kenny One.
How did the computer get out of the house?
He used windows.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Why was Sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.