Worst Jokes Ever
My dad brought me some sunglasses, but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.
Me: I look up to you.
Friend: Wow, thanks!
Me: But in general cuz your so tall.
Girls are like volcanoes.
You never know when they will erupt.
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.
Seat belts are like the condom for cars.
What was Frankenstein's second job? -- He was a bodybuilder.
I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.
Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.
How did the man with no arms commit suicide?
We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.
My doctor prescribed a new drug to treat my depression.
It’s called Enditol.
My heart says to stop because it hurts.
Bro, chill. It's really not that deep.
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
what do you call a flat road named after George Floyd?
Flat neck road.
How did Michael Jackson get away with it?
He's a smooth criminal.
I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.
My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"
Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.
Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?
He never learned to mix the colors.