Worst Jokes Ever
My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.
What is happening? Which is better: being loved or being hated? State your answer.
Advertisement: "What's in your wallet?"
Me: "The same amount of money as there is my will to live... ;_)"
Why did you go depressed?
Because you’re you.
Article 1: the Titanic is practically unsinkable.
Article 4: the Titanic sank.
Toto is at school and asks if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no.
Then, she asks Toto, “Where is the biggest river in the world?”
“Under my bench,” he replies.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink? A dipresso espresso.
What did Batman do when he went shopping?
Got ham!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Lion 🦁.
Lion who?
Lion again, aren't you?
What is a cup called when they show a ton of emotions?
Answer: Expresso! (KILL MEH)
Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"
What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.
You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.
I parked in a disabled space today...
...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”
How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?
Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
WOW this ultra realistic jenga is awesome!🔥🔥
What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?
Some people don’t pick it.