Worst Jokes Ever
I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.
When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.
You won't feel lonely anymore :(
I wasn't planning on going on a run, but those cops showed up out of nowhere.
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.
Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!
I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.
He couldn't stand a chance.
Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubba's two best friends (the three were inseparable) agreed. The first friend said, "Hard to tell, can you turn him over?" The coroner looked perplexed but did so. "Nope, that's not Bubba." The second friend said, "He's burnt up pretty bad, can you roll him over again?" The coroner didn't understand but rolled him over anyway. "Nope, that's not him." Pretty confused, the coroner asked, "How can you tell it's not him by rolling him over?" "Well, you see, Bubba had two assholes." "Impossible," the coroner replied. The friends said, "I don't know, but every time we went to town, everyone would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"
Q: What makes depressed kids jump?
A: Bridges.
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.
I wasn't cut out for running today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
My math teacher keeps telling me to find his x. It's kinda creepy.
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
Why did the slave go to college?
To get his master's degree.
What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?
Only one is wanted.
I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.