Worst Jokes Ever
My school is on fire today, and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted, "Hot Wheels!"
Life would be so much easier if grass was emo.
Because it would cut itself.
How do you get an emo out of a tree? You cut the rope.
"Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"
"Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"
I know a woman who owns a taser. -- She's stunning!
Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Crackers.
I'm not looking for consent, I'm looking for cooperation!
Why does Hitler drink milk? Because he doesn't like juice.
I spy with my little eye nothing because I only have two normal-sized eyes.
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
"It's pasture bed time."
In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually.
They say they found water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
Yo mama so fat that when she crossed the road, people mistook her for a roundabout.
PP almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said, "Just put it in."
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.
The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.
In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."