Worst Jokes Ever
How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?
I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 cause my basement is still dark.
Monkey Man's mortuary, you stab 'em, we slab 'em.
Back in Australia, my puns are high koala-tea!
Why can’t orphans say "I’m in the ghetto?" Because they can’t say "I’m in a home."
Last words of the captain of the Titanic... "Where's all this water come from?"
I'm friends with only 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
Yo mama is so stupid, she shoved two double A batteries up her butt and said, “I’ve got the power!”
Q: Why did the chef get fired?
A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
All they said was, "Bach, Bach, Bach..."
What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"
Why don't phones wear glasses? Because they have contacts!
Did you hear about the light bulb party? Yeah, it was pretty lit!
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?
Taxi.
Q: What's the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A: Stoners have papers.
How do you make an emo jump?
A cliff.