Worst Jokes Ever

Why couldn't the T-Rex clap?

Because he's dead.

Yo mama so stupid that, when she heard about cookies on the internet, she ate her computer.

You know what’s odd?

Every other number.

There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.

It crashed in a cemetery.

They recovered 500 bodies.

What is Al-Qaeda's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

All you need is a razor blade in life.

What is Beethoven doing now?

Decomposing.

I went to the National Redhead Meeting yesterday.

Not a soul in sight.

Roses are red, grass is greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.

When I was born the doctors said, "it's a boy!" Then when they went to cut the umbilical cord, they cut the wrong thing. Then they said, "Oh, it's a girl."

Why does a movie set say "break a leg"? Because they have a cast.

Why is the sea salty?

Because the land never waves back.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

I was hit on by President Kennedy, too bad I shot him down.

When Stephen Hawking found out about physics, he was speechless.

What place can you always find suicidal cows at?

"McDonald's."

If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?

Your adopted.

Two cows standing in a paddock, one says, "Moo." The other turns to him and says, "I was just going to say that!"

Once, there was a couple about to have sex. "I have something to confess," said the shy wife. The husband then said, "Whatever it is, I will still love." The wife then said, "Honey, I'm flat chested." The husband said, "It's okay, I'm a baby down there anyways." He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex.

The next day, the wife said, "I thought you were a baby down there." The husband then said, "I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds."