Worst Jokes Ever
What's the second to last letter in the alphabet? Y. Cause I wanted to know.
What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common?
They both died with red rings.
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
Tombstone engraving: "I TOLD you I was sick!"
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me, what did you do?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."
A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?
Is Google a girl or a boy?
Obviously a girl, because it won't let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.
I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? -- Canned food.
Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
A: To find Pooh!
I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea, but it’s dead in the water.
All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.
Cousins make dozens.
What is the difference between light and hard? You can go to sleep with a light on.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.