Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral?
While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.
I don't like 9/11 jokes; they have a tendency to crash and burn.
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship's steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, "Hey! What's with the steering wheel?" The pirate says, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?
They are always swinging a stick.
So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.
What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.
What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?
It got pissed off.
What can you tell a dog, but not your girlfriend? Come.
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
What is a retard's favorite race? The grand autismo.
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.
"Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.
"Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why were the people in the Twin Towers sad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard, she turned Christian.
The gas prices are going up so much that even Hitler is killing himself.
A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."