Worst Jokes Ever

My midget landlord told me to pack my things up and that I've got 30 minutes to get out. That's short notice!

Why couldn’t the dwarf husband make his wife pregnant?

Because of his short cummings.

Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."

Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"

Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"

Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"

Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."

Why are white teenagers the best for the army? They are good at shooting things up.

I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.

What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.

My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

You know how to get 10,000 followers? Run through Africa with a bottle of water.

Titanic - "Yo, look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, let's hit her!"

They say Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn't cry.

When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale

I tried to catch the fog, but I mist.

What do you call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut.

All rape can be prevented. It's just a matter of semantics.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.

It's all shits and giggles till somebody giggles and shits.

I know a woman who owns a taser. -- She's stunning!

Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.

"Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"

"Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"

How do you get an emo out of a tree? You cut the rope.