Worst Jokes Ever

My friend died from an allergic reaction. He gave me an EpiPen while he was dying, so now I have something to remember him from.

The good thing about dead baby jokes is that they never get old.

Yo mama so stupid she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

My asian neighbors dinner.

What's the second to last letter in the alphabet? Y. Cause I wanted to know.

What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common?

They both died with red rings.

You know what’s impossible?

Steven Walking.

Tombstone engraving: "I TOLD you I was sick!"

Me walking in to the office:

Principal: Tell me, what did you do?

Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...

Your mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."

A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?

Is Google a girl or a boy?

Obviously a girl, because it won't let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.

I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.

Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?

A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? -- Canned food.

Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

A: To find Pooh!

I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea, but it’s dead in the water.

Cousins make dozens.

What is the difference between light and hard? You can go to sleep with a light on.