Worst Jokes Ever
If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?
An ambulance.
Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection.
I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!
You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.
Why can you never hear bunnies having sex? Because they have cotton balls.
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12.
There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.
What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?
What's the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Because that’s the only love they get.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice. I called it "cold hard cash."
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.