Worst Jokes Ever
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
Is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?
What did the suicidal leprechaun say?
"Irish I was dead."
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.
A son walks up to his dad and says, "Dad! I just had sex for the first time."
The dad goes, "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?"
The son says, "I can't sit right now, my butt is very sore."
Gary Glitter was imprisoned for inappropriate relations with preteens. Not to be outdone, Kelly Clarkson exclaimed, "Hold my Bud Light!" whilst grasping her 1-year-old daughter.
I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏
I was working in an iPhone store in Norwich when a man came! He said, "Give me a hat-trick or I will destroy your store!" I said, "No," and he started to smash phones! I immediately screamed, "Important game!" and he disappeared! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my store! 😡😡
Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."
I downloaded Fruit Ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself.
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime.
I don't like these Undertale jokes. They just don't make any sense.
How much does a pirate pay for corn?
A buccaneer!
Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Spread your legs and give me an hour.
I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
What's black and white and black and white and black and white and red and black and white and white and black and red and red and black and red and white and black and red and red and red and red?
A penguin in a blender.
If you were on the Titanic and you didn't leave the ship, what would you do? Just let that sink in.
Only one of Kenny's girlfriends has ever said he's good in bed.
But she has to. She's his mom.
Why are Americans bad chess players?
They lost two towers.