Worst Jokes Ever
God creating spiders.
God: "Make it have 8 legs." Angel: "Ok? Bit excessive but ok." God: "And 8 eyes." Angel: "You need to calm down and li-" God: "Give it a butt rope!"
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Any last requests?" "Yes," replied the murderer, "Will you please hold my hand?"
Chuck Norris has been to Mars... that's why there are no signs of life there.
Yo' mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
If I make a summer camp for kids with concentration problems, will it be a "Concentration Camp"?
Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."
You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?
They are a total rip off.
What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?
Neither has he.
Yo mama so fat, she got baptized at SeaWorld.
Do you want to know why they call it an orphanage? Because they couldn't call it orphans home.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Head, shoulders, screws, and bolts.
Yo mama so fat Thanos had to clap.
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.
What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”
Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”
What is a cannibal's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
People say that life is short.
I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.
Why do feminists believe that they can act like a bitch towards men if they want to? Because they were born without a penis.