Worst Jokes Ever
What did a cannibal have as his last meal?
Five guys.
A wife and husband had been on a strict diet, and the wife said, "You know, we've been good about our diet. Let's have a cheat night tonight." The wife came home with KFC and Wendy's. The husband came home with Sylvia from the office.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Yeah, he's all right now.
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.
How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.
Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.
What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.
Husband: "I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."
Wife: "You have the biggest penis out of all your friends."
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.
I've decided to marry a pencil. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said, "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion." The first guy came back with 10 apples, and by the second one, he started to grunt, so he was killed and eaten.
The second one came back with cherries, and when he went to put the 10th one in, he started to laugh, so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven, and the first guy said, "Dude, you were so close. What happened?" The second one said, "I would have made it, but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!" 😝😝🤣🤣
A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is.
So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks, "What are you?" The baby bunny replies, "Well, I'm a baby bunny. What are you?" The baby skunk says, "Well, I don't know, am I a baby bunny too?"
The baby bunny says, "No, you're not a baby bunny." So the baby skunk asks, "Well, what am I then?"
The baby bunny replies, "Well, you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white, so you must be Mexican."
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”