Worst Jokes Ever

I love murder shows... wish me luck cause I'm kinda hoping to be on one one day.

If it's true what they say and I quote, "God never gives you more than you can handle," then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.

Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, "You forgot the remote!"

A skeleton goes sky diving. Doesn't come back in one piece.

Stephen Hawking just died. Have they tried rebooting him to factory settings?

Girl: "How do you feel about abortion?"

Dad: "Ask your sister."

Girl: "I don't have a..."

Why do feminists eat so much pussy?

To get the taste of dick out of their mouths.

Does it cycle now, you stupid bitches?

I asked my midget neighbor if he wanted a lift. He told me to "Fuck off!!!" I thought, what a cheeky cunt and zipped my backpack up and walked away.

What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?

I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

He's not really dead, his update failed.

What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.

Necrophilia in Alabama is fun for the whole family, even grandma.

Why are we depressed? Is it because of that bully in your school, or because you have acne? How about when you listen to your sad song playlist? Maybe it's because you have no friends? Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake? T^T

A receptionist at the Twin Towers orders two pepperoni pizzas. She was upset when she got two planes.

What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?

A trom-bone 😂

I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend.

She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.

What do you call a swimming terrorist?

A bath bomb.

Suicide gives you security for the future.

Decide the day of suicide and live with full joy till that day, and you can choose to postpone it.

What's the difference between Mexicans and stoners? Stoners actually have papers.