Worst Jokes Ever
I have many jokes about unemployed people, but sadly, none of them seemed to have worked.
I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.
I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000."
But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.
A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
If a special ed kid is late to class, is it okay to call me a little tardy?
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
How did a blonde commit suicide?
She jumped from the basement window.
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.
When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."
The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"No, I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"Excuse me, but where are your manners?"
"Round the corner picking up shit."
What’s a pedophile’s favorite shoe? White vans.
Do you want to know how to make a Smurf? CHOKE A MIDGET!
You're at your girlfriend's house for a family dinner. Your GF says, "Daddy, please pass me the salt," when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.
Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, mom, I'm blind!
Mom: Exactly.
Why do vegetarians give anonymous blowjobs at the glory hole at an adult book store? Because they don't want anybody to find out that they like meat.
Three drunk men get in a taxi. The driver knew they were drunk, so he started the car and turned it off. The first man gave him the money. The second man thanked him, but the third man slapped the driver. The driver, surprised that he noticed, asked why, and the third man replied with, "Why did you drive so fast?"
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.
I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.
What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.