Worst Jokes Ever
Apparently, describing the beautiful city of Hiroshima as "The bomb" is not okay.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
What do painters and prostitutes have in common?
They're both paid for a good finish.
Michael Jackson was working on a cover of a popular Elton John song when he died...
His version was to be called "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...
A panda walks into a bar. He asked the bartender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him, then leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “Why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “It’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia, and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.
Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a while. But set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish, and he'll become a prince.
How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?
Take a flute and shove it up your ass.
Your hairline is so bad that it makes Lebron's hairline look normal.
What is a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game?
Before the first period.
A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.
What's simultaneously up and down?
A retard on a plane.
What do you call a redneck on fire?
A fire cracker.
What is a pedophile's favorite song?
Jerking off in A minor.
I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia, fuck!
Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin?
What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?
The New York Jets.
If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
What's the same with a toilet and anal sex? Your ass gets numb after a while.