Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.

  • 2

    • They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:

    Thou shalt not f... altar boys.

  • 4

    • It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

    Welcome back to the hide and seek world championship! Osama Bin Laden vs. Anne Frank!

    Teacher: "People with depression never get anywhere in life."

    Student 1: "My mom has depression, but she died."

    Student 2: "My sister has depression and she's going to therapy."

    Student 3: "My dad has depression, and he's doing REALLY well."

  • 3

    • What do you get when you cross a panhandler, a politician, a lobbyist, a prostitute, a sodomite, and a Jehovah's Witness knocking on your door at your house to convert you to their religion?

    Wife: "How would you describe me?"

    Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."

    Wife: "What does that mean?"

    Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."

    Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

    Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

  • 1

    • A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.

    The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

    'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'

    The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.

    The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."

  • 1

    • I hate people who get offended here, like seriously, it's called dark humor for a reason.

  • 8

    • I went to the shooting range the other day. After a while, I realized I was the only one there. So, I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene. Man, I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.