Worst Jokes Ever
If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?
Lol. It was just a prank, bro.
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
What do you call an Asian who can't hear?
Wha U Sai
Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.
brb makin' tic tac toe boards on myself.
Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.
What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team?
New York Jets.
Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?
A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*
Let's make a joke on how depressing Monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"
Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.
My girlfriend treats me like God. -- She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
A guy is due to meet his friends for drinks at a bar but arrives late. When he does eventually turn up his friends ask why he is late.
The guy says, "Well, you won't believe what just happened. I was walking my usual route via the rail tracks when suddenly I saw a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks. Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her."
The friends are cheering and one friend asks, "So... did you get any head?"
The guy replies, "No, I couldn't find it."
A girl and a dog were dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog.