Worst Jokes Ever
Person: Where do I commit suicide?
Dog: Roof.
Person: Good idea.
I got banned from the library for putting a book about woman's rights in the fantasy section.
They say I'll mess up my insides, but I don't have any.
I've never worn my gay sweater, it hasn't come out of the closet yet.
I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.
How do you stop a heterosexual woman from sucking your dick? piss inside her mouth
Did you know Hellen Keller has a pool?
Neither did she.
If you kill an emo, Is it an assist kill?
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee.
Expresso, expresso, no more depresso!
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It picks cotton.
Did you know that when pigeons have sex, they die?
Really?
Well, the one I fucked did.
Some people think "prison" is one word, but to robbers, it's a whole sentence.
Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.
I named my dog "5 miles" so when I walk him, I can say I walked 5 miles.
Random guy: I ran over 5 miles.
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.
What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?
When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
- They see me rolling.
Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.
30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven. God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way. The first lady, she was obsessed with her looks, so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish. The next person didn't know what to wish for, so they wished for the same thing. The guy in the very back was laughing, having a grand old time. Then God got to the person before the last. He said the same, he wished to be beautiful. When God got to the last person, he said, "I want them all to be ugly again."