I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?
Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂
Teacher: "I used to be an orphan once."
Student: "That’s sad."
Teacher: "Anyways, who is away today?"
Student: "Your parents."
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Shrek is ugly, but not uglier than you.
Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb. I said, "Awww, are you an orphan?" He said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".
I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
Why can't England play chess? Because they lost their queen!
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?
When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.
Why is Russia invading Ukraine?
«Мы хотим вернуть Советский Союз!»
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
A 28 year old woman, Olga, in Meshchovsk, Russia took justice into her own hands when a 32 year old male robber, Viktor, decided to rob her salon. She tied him, feeding him only Viagra, having sex with him over and over. After a few days, she released him after he stated he learned his lesson and wouldn't go to the police. He lied and went to the police anyways. Both were arrested.
After his sentence was over, Viktor sat down to speak to the local news. The reporter asked Viktor, "How was this whole ordeal?" Viktor replied, "I've had better."
I gave an orphan an iPhone X for a reason.
It doesn’t have a home button.
What is a blind person's favorite color?
Black.
Why isn't the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.
I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.
big booty latinas.
