Worst Jokes Ever
Little Johnny's mom is taking a shower. Little Johnny walks in and asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Mommy says, "That is my keyhole." The next day, Little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and Little Johnny asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Daddy says, "That is my key." The next day Little Johnny says to his dad, "Looks like the neighbor has the key to Mommy's keyhole too."
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?
A: Nothing! He was hung over.
Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."
People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."
What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?
Splattered.
I lost my black friend in the shadows. I lost my white friend on the wall. I lost my Asian friend in the sand and I lost my Islamic friend in the bombings.
When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
What's great about an emo pizza?
It cuts itself. Yay!
Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
Q: What was the orphan's first phone?
A: The iPhone X because it had no home button.
Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2? He killed Hitler.
What happens when an asian with an erection bumps into a wall? he breaks his nose
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" So the sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
For orphans, every bag of chips is family size.
Your mom's so fat that One Punch Man had to take two punches.
Osama's aim was horrible. One of his angry birds missed and hit a field in Pennsylvania.
I wanted to play as Kobe in my console, but the game crashed.
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
A little kid was lost, and he asked me to find his home. I love working at the orphanage.
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No, “to whom.”