Worst Jokes Ever
"Cancer isn't real. It's probably special effects."
if an emo doesn't get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year
One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one, then he/she should stand up.
After a minute, a boy stands up.
The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.
The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."
Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.
Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill’s candy, but Jack had a shock with a mouth full of cock cause Jill’s real name was Randy.
With a tight cheeked fanny and shlong expandy, Jack’s face turned uncanny. Off he ranny to tell granny his best friend was a tranny.
Q: Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for their birthday?
A: 'Cause it don't have a home button.
Donald: "If I lose this election, I will leave the country."
Joe: "Bi den"
In preschool, I confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as I was, I sucked it up and went back to teaching.
Ancestry.com is spelled with an “I” in Alabama.
So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No, “to whom.”
Why were the twin towers sad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
Why do orphans bully people?
Because they can't get suspended.
Contact Parent _______
This boy in my high school choir class had a decently big forehead, so I leaned in and said, "You know, if you painted an H on your forehead, maybe Kobe would've landed."
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Surprise egg.
I got the newest Call of Duty game! I got a 200 kill streak, then I went home and played COD.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's?
You can hide your own Easter Eggs!
What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?
They both have plastic in them.