Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.

The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.

What's the difference between a used condom and the UCP?

The condom was actually useful at one point.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I tell you, you look pretty, but all you do is look like a poo.

Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!

Me: Nothing, why?

Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.

Me that/every night: *sob*

Friends: Are you okay?

Me: Yeah, fine.

Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...

Awww, Gwen thinks she has a boyfriend! Oh wait, no you don't! She is just some loser ass bitch who could be a ho, you don't know. He was mine, and I want him back!

I've got something better for all of you. I may not have found it, but Google "hottest sexiest women ever." Then you'll want them!

What do you call an orphan? Homeless.

What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.

Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.