Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.
Worst Jokes Ever
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill’s candy, but Jack had a shock with a mouth full of cock cause Jill’s real name was Randy.
With a tight cheeked fanny and shlong expandy, Jack’s face turned uncanny. Off he ranny to tell granny his best friend was a tranny.
Q: Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for their birthday?
A: 'Cause it don't have a home button.
Ancestry.com is spelled with an “I” in Alabama.
Donald: "If I lose this election, I will leave the country."
Joe: "Bi den"
In preschool, I confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as I was, I sucked it up and went back to teaching.
Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.
So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
You can beat up orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why were the twin towers sad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
This boy in my high school choir class had a decently big forehead, so I leaned in and said, "You know, if you painted an H on your forehead, maybe Kobe would've landed."
Why do orphans bully people?
Because they can't get suspended.
Contact Parent _______
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Surprise egg.
I got the newest Call of Duty game! I got a 200 kill streak, then I went home and played COD.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's?
You can hide your own Easter Eggs!
What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?
They both have plastic in them.
Your mum is so bad at cooking, Gordon Ramsey brought back Hitler to show her how to use an oven.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A dead goldfish.
Ok, there has to be SOMEONE on this website right now. Whoever that is, wanna chat? (I'm just bored)
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
