Worst Jokes Ever
I bought a coffin on Black Friday. It was a killer deal.
I’m not saying my life’s a joke. I’m saying it’s the punchline no one asked for.
What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?
The washer doesn't take loads for free.
Why do witches wear name tags?
So they know which witch is which!
American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"
Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."
Why do dolphins live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.
How to escape your black school teacher in detention?
(Easy)
Turn off the lights!
Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
What's an upside of being an orphan?
You'll never get grounded again.
I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'
I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'
I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'
I feel bad for the guy in 9/11 who ordered a salami pizza. Instead, he just got a plane.
What the difference between a priest and acne
Acne waits till your 13 to cum on your face
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.
What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."
Yo mama so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Why was Santa happy?
Because he had 3 hoes.