Worst Jokes Ever
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?
An orphan.
James Last, the king of the LP bargain bin, died a Florida Man.
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.
Students across America have been spotted playing a parody of the horror game Five Nights at Freddy’s called “7 Hours at Chi Phi”.
How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?
Stick a chicken wing up there.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
What’s something you might say at sea, but not at your partner?
Land ho!
Ever tried African food?
Neither have they.
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.
Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
What do you call a gay Pikachu? Penischew.
What do you call your Indian best friend who is the ABSOLUTE BEST at cunnilingus? A Curry Muncher.
I hate it when disabled people get bullied...
... because they can't stand up for themselves.
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.
Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.
Feminists: Correct.
Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?
Everyone has cracks in them, mine's just in my heart and not my ass.
The teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make? "Mooo," said Sally. "Good job," said the teacher. "What sound does a sheep make?" "Baa," said Jack. "Good, now what sound does a pig make?" Little Johnny raised his hand really high in the sky. The teacher called on him. He said, "The pig says, 'Get on the ground and put your hands on your head, you black motherfucker.'"