Worst Jokes Ever
Violets are blue, roses are red.
Last night your mom was giving me head.
The world exploded, so now I need to visit Uranus.
What’s Mexico’s favorite sport?
Cross country.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
Joker gives Batman a phone.
Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."
Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.
How to escape your black school teacher in detention?
(Easy)
Turn off the lights!
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the meat section from the dairy section.
How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’
What is a little zombie's favorite stuffed animal?
It's a deady bear.
What’s the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
A straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-do!"
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do!"
An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"
The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."
The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"
The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"
I got, I got, I got royalty inside my penis, or however the song goes.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
I told my teacher, "I’m failing life." She said, "That’s not on the syllabus."
What’s the best part about stage four cancer?
There’s no stage five.
Why are there more female history teachers than male?
Because women like to bring up the past.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.