Worst Jokes Ever
What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?
They have no one to call "Dad."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, touched Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a kid.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?
About 15 stone.
He sings, he dances, be he also HE HE.
How do you know an orphan is lying? When they swear on their mother's life.
How do you get a discount off groceries?
Scan the emo kid's wrists.
What do the Twin Towers and school have in common?
People jumped off a building to escape it.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they take a corner, they open up a shop.
What is a woman doing with an empty sheet?
Reading her rights!
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?
At least gorillas don't abort their own.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Disabled.
Have you heard anything about this Chuck Norris guy? Yeh, me neither.
You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
So, a mom and a dad are having sex. Their daughter comes down and says, "Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing?"
The mom goes, "Uh, we're making a cake. Let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow."
So the next day they go to the park, and two teens are going at it in some bushes, and the little girl goes, "Mommy, Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
So they go home, and the mom tucked her into bed and says, "Tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo, and two monkeys are going at it, and the girl goes, "Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
And so they go home, and the girl goes, "Mommy, did you and Daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says, "N-no, why?" And the little girl goes, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
Talking about planets with my nephew.
He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.
Your mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)
What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?
A normal kid has a family.
I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.
That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!