Worst Jokes Ever
Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Are you a noose, 'cause I wanna hang out with you?
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait.
Your hairline [is] so bad even your mama left you.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where the home plate is.
I would make a joke, but it won't be as explosive as the others.
My dad died in 9/11. I'll always remember his last words:
Allah hu akbar.
How did the flapjack feel when syrup was drizzled on him?
Butter.
Where do orphans go when sad?
Not their parents.
Whoever says a joke "is not a joke" should go commit bye die.
Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.
So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.
Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home run.
Why was 10 scared because it was in the middle of 9/11?
What did one tower say to the other?
Damn, you looking PLANE!
Gimme a nickel or I'll tickle your pickle!
I arrived at basketball and I asked little Jimmy if he brought the basketballs, and he said, "Nope, but I got two right here!"
What happens to Freedom Towers if they got hit? They stepped in Ground Zero.
What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.
What position would a man with no legs and arms play in baseball?
Home base.