Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

I arrived at basketball and I asked little Jimmy if he brought the basketballs, and he said, "Nope, but I got two right here!"

What happens to Freedom Towers if they got hit? They stepped in Ground Zero.

What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.

My friend said, "Where is the trash?" I said, "Look in the mirror, there is the trash."

Phobos and Deimos are just asteroids in moon costumes, and Mars was blind due to its frequent sandstorms, so it let Phobos and Deimos be its moons.

What did the plane say to the Twin Towers?

"Open wide, here comes the airplane!" 💀👌

Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple has a family tree.

What is an orphan's least favorite holiday?

Christmas, they wish they'd get parents.