Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

What is white, black, and red and can't fit through a revolving door?

A nun with a spear through her head!

There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"

Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?

He was actually quite funny...

He just blew the delivery.

(I'll show myself out).

My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!

What happens when an emo goes to the grocery store? The cashier scans their wrist too.

What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?

They both get turned on by kids.

I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.

My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.

You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.

I'll shut up now.

Me: Looks like a girl, sure as h3ll I don't sound like one.

Michael Jackson: Looks like a boy, sure as h3ll don't sound like one.

That [is] what we have i[n] commen, but if you mix up my gender I won't give a F about it. Michael Jackson not so much : )

What is one thing that a physicality handicapped gay man can do better than a heterosexual female or a bisexual female that are not born physicality handicapped? Know how to perform fellatio on a man that has a very long and thick and very large dick.

What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.

I tried to write the shortest joke ever, so I wrote a two-word joke, which was "Dwarf Shortage." It's just so I could pack more jokes into the show.

What if the ocean just raided Titanic of its people? Like instead of it flooding, it was raiding it and threatened the passengers if they told, so they just said an iceberg flooded the ship.

Yo mama so fat, when she goes to get grapes off a bush, the bush says, "Bitch, I never thought they can grow that big!"

I think my dad is too black because whenever he goes to bed and closes his eyes, he disappears. 🤣

Dream Stans: Technoblade died too soon.

Technoblade's Dad: He was only 23 years old!

Pig's average lifespan: Only 15 – 20 years (23 years old is way above).